You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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