and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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