thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
