is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize