why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
