is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
