i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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