I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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