Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize