what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
