He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
