I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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