worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
