not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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