A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize