I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
