I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
