Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
