dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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