party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Never joke about your clitoris.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
