i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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