Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize