he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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