I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
