I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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