omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
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Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
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i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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