the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
