...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
