He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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