i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
