Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize