you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
