im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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