maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
