I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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