i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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