He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
