i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
