ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
