The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
