Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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