Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Someone came in the potted fern
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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