i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
