people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize