That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
