All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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