Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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