didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
