Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
