I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
