The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out mid-signature
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
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