if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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