I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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