My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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