i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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